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TOO MUCH
WELL HELLO . It's the 3rd week of August and I'm having ma holidayssssssssss.
NO MORE PHYSICS. HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!! Maybe I shouldn't be too happy about it because there's this module for next sem which is called " Engineering Techniques ". To be honest, I AM VERY SURE THERE'S SOME PHYSICS OR CHEMISTRY IN IT. Ohhhhhhmaigawwww. Okay, I am just gonna pray hard that its gonna be fun?
FOR NOW, I'm going to sleeeeeeep and play and eat til I find a job. Heh.
Alright. I don't know if it's just me being paranoid or sensitive or wtv shit. But I feel like although I have friends, I feel like I am all alone. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE FUCK. I have never ever felt this way before for like the past 16 years? LOL. Ahhhhhhhhhh. It's okay. Sometimes being alone is good, right? Hmmmm.
OKAY. THE NEXT THING THAT I AM GONNA SAY IS THAT.
I AM DAMN DAMN FREAKING EXCITED BECAUSE .......
IU IS COMING TO SINGAPORE ON THE 16th of NOVEMBER 2013.
At first, I heard rumours going on that she's gonna come for KMW along w 12 other KPOP artistes. It was just a RUMOUR. I told my friends about it and they were like " I don't think that its true because the banner looks fake and all. " SOOOOOO, I decided to get the SNSD concert tickets.
One week after I booked the SNSD tickets w my cousins, KMW CONFIRMED THAT THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE A CONCERT ON THE 16th of NOVEMBER.
-_- SERIOUSLY??????????!?!?!?!?!??!!?!
MOST IMPORTANTLY, IU IS GOING TO COME TO SINGAPORE AFTER SO MANY YEARS. OH MY GODDDDDDDD I CAN'T EVEN.
I don't even know if I should go for KMW because.
1) The tickets are so damn expensive???? The ticket starts from $138 to $688. 688$ SERIOUSLY?! THAT'S LIKE CRAZY LAH.
2) THE STAGE IS SO DAMN FREAKING SMALL.
3) The concert is held at the Gardens By The Bay. The seats are called "Hill 1/Hill 2A/ Hill 2B" . Are they really up-sloped? Imagine if they aren't up-sloped, you'll be sitting/standing on the flat ground. What are you gonna see? Heads? Or grass?
I know that if I don't go for this concert, I'm sure it's gonna take another 10000000 years for IU to come back to Singapore. It's like super duper uber rare that IU's coming to SG. Not only IU is there, FT ISLAND, B1A4, TEEN TOP, BAP are gonna be there!!!! Even if I can afford the concert ticket, I'm sure my parents are gonna be damn furious if they know that I've spent so much money on concerts, that is if I attend both SNSD and KMW.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. OMG. SHOULD I GO OR NOT?!?!?!?!?!?!?
TOUGHEST DECISION EVER.
Lol. If Bev is seeing this, YES. IU IS COMING. OHHHHHHMY.
LOL. AM I EVEN KIDDING? WHY WILL BEV BE READING THIS.
OMG I THINK I AM CRAZY LOLLLLLL.
still
All alone or
I've been thinking for a very long time and it all comes back to this question.
Why am I so afraid of being lonely?
I started to think that what if all of my friends were just acting in-front of me. Behind me, they hate me to the core and they pray everyday that I will die as soon as possible. Do I prefer to have friends like that or do I prefer to be all alone? I'd rather be all alone, that's my answer. But when I'm all alone, I will start to feel depressed, sad and feel that everyone dislikes me. Everyone thinks that I'm such a bitch. Still, I'd rather be alone then feel lonely when I'm with my friends.
If you know me well enough, you will believe her. But you'll know that I didn't do that on purpose. You'll know what I kind of person I am. I guess this is a test to see how strong our friendship is. I know that I should believe that we'll make it through this test. However, I still feel that it's going to end. Our friendship is going to end.
| exhaustion |
i feel very tired about how they think i am .
i feel very tired about this issue already .
it has been almost one month, i guess .
if you're still not going to let it go, so be it .
continue talking about me, for all you want .
if you feel happy after talking about me, go ahead and continue what you're doing .
i'm really, really, really tired of all these .
and to all those people that have heard about that issue, and if you're gonna ask me why did i did that and etc .
i'm just gonna tell you this .
it's up to you to believe or not. if you believe in it, so be it. don't hope for any explanations from me.
FUCKING JUDGE ALL YOU WANT, FUCKERS
one thing that i like about my sec sch friends is that they judge only after they know two sides of the story. when a friend tells them about a conflict w another person, they bother to actually ask the person who's involved in the conflict instead of just judging that it's not our friend's fault but it's the other person's fault. but now, i feel that my current friends are different. maybe it was naive of me to think that most people will look at both sides of the story before judging. i mean, why do you just judge immediately after the conflict occur when you don't even know a shit about it? if you don't know about anything just shut up and do your thing la. talk so much for what. it's also not your business right. then what? after you heard her side of the story you start to do those shitty things to me. oh well, i don't even want to have friends who don't know anything yet want to care about everything and then go around bitching w others about those inaccurate stuffs. ok whatever. i shouldn't care about all this right? i've got better things to do than to care about what they think of me. if you really think i am that kind of person, then so be it. because no matter how hard i explain, you won't listen and you won't understand. then fine, just keep thinking that way, fucker.
(P.S for using the vulgarities.)
am i being too sensitive or what?
i hate it when people ask me " Are you okay? ". i mean, yeah thanks for your concern. but i can't possibly tell you what i am upset or angry about right? ESPECIALLY if you're the reason why i am upset about. after these few months, i realize that being alone is better than feeling lonely even when there's people "talking" to you.
why don't you just leave? i mean, texting to that person when she's just like two seats away from me is fucking ridiculous. i know you love her so damn much. so do me a favour, just leave. I'd feel better when you leave and you'll feel happier when you're with her. a win-win situation.
