starting to appreciate every second , every minute
Last Friday, I visited my uncle .
Finally, I've got the chance to visit him after a hectic week .
My cousin came down to the lobby to fetch us up as the ' patient's limit ' has reached its maximum .
But I'm glad that my mum & I still managed to make our way to his ward .
As we walked out of the lift, my cousin told us lots of things .
How's he . How's his condition .
How's he, facing the fact that he's suffering from cancer .
She told us with a smile,
" He's really optimistic about it . He still can joke and fool around with us. Really different from those dramas we watch in reality. "
I was shocked and yet happy for him .
As probably, he's being positive about this fact .
But my mum was like,
" He's hiding his feelings. You've gotta wait . "
I was like -______________________-
So I walked into the ward .
My cousins were on by his bedside surrounding him .
To be honest, before I entered the ward , laughter can be heard from the walkway .
Everyone's being really optimistic.
And positive .
But still, though there are smiles on all my cousin's faces , they're hiding the pain they're feeling right now .
They don't want their father to be worried about them.
My aunt seems to be really upset and worried .
Right .
Who won't be upset or worried when your father or your husband is suffering on the bed?
I saw him.
Lying on the bed.
And I realised that just 1 month, one can change so much .
During the June holidays, our family gathered together .
He came to the gathering .
He was so healthy and strong .
But in just one month, he became so thin and weak .
He told us that he haven't been eating for days .
He cannot eat solid food . Only fluid .
Milo. Coffee. Soup. Juices .
At night, he secretly took a few biscuits and eat as he was really really hungry .
In the end, he vomited.
Whatever solid food he eats, he'll vomit.
So he told us,
" I'll be very happy if you can just take a bowl of pig trotters and just let me sniff it for a while . I'll be really really very happy. "
He told us with a smile .
He's hungry but he can't eat .
He must be feeling very horrible and down now..
I almost cried , but thinking of him .
He, the one who's suffering isn't crying .
I, myself must cheer him up instead of worrying him .
The past few days, I've been thinking.
Thinking about my childhood.
My aunt and him was the ones who took care of me for 7 years .
Tomorrow.
He'll be doing a checkup to see if the cancer cells have spread to other parts of his body .
Praying hard that the cancer cells hasn't spread .
Praying hard that he'll be fine .
Praying hard that he'll stay strong .
Dear uncle ,
You won't be able to see this . But I'll still write it here on this blog . You've always been a strong person to me. I know you are . You're in great pain now . Starving. I know this is really hard and painful . But I know you'll be able to conquer this . I know you can . And you will . I'll pray for you . You'll always be my dad , no matter what . My second dad. I love you to bits and pieces . X O X O
