Grandma, you used to say " Zarc, whenever you've got any troubles, tell me. Alright? "
Grandma, I'm really troubled recently. I know. I shouldn't have lied to Bev. I know that. I've learnt my lesson. Such a stupid, grave mistake I've made. She must be feeling really sad now. Sad and disappointed. I don't know how is she feeling right now. I want to know. But .. It's like a murderer asking the victim how does it feel to get stabbed with a knive. She trusted me so much and all I did was to lose her trust, break her heart and break all the promises I've made. I don't think I'll be able to gain back her trust in me. I've ruined this friendship, you can say more-than-friends-friendship. I've lost everything that I've once had with her. I've never felt so down and upset in such a long time. I've lost someone whom I love deeply. I've lost that one person who can make me feel better by just a text or a picture. I've lost that one person who I confide all my thoughts and feelings to. I feel like I've lost everything. I don't know if we can carry on being friends. I feel lost . I know I deserve this, grandma. I feel terrible. I wish you were here, right beside me now. Grandma, tell me, what should I do?