mannnnn. seriously, i fucking hate promises. i hate to make a promise with someone. i don't want to be like " Hey, I hate coke. But I like coke in a bottle. " kind of thing. i mean, i don't want to keep a promise i can't keep. therefore, if there's really a need to say " Sorry, I won't do it again. " just to mend things, I still won't say it. Won't it hurt more if it happened again? I can't guarantee you that I won't do it again. But I'll try. But still, who knows that someday, sometime, I do it again?
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the only one who really understands me is gone. because of me. i can't change this fact. all i can do, is to change the way i live.
the whole of this week was really crappy and shitty. i should say, its a pretty unforgettable week. a week that i'll never forget.
i thought she will be somewhat sad because of what happened. but no, she isn't. i should be glad about this. because i was so afraid that she will. she find this stupid instead. yes, it definitely is. even me, myself, am disgusted by this. learnt a lot from this 'relationship'.
she is definitely better without me. guess she has found someone better.
for the past four days, its more of the 'reflections on what i've done' days and. its like i'm dead but i'm alive kind of feeling.
funny that the one who created this shit is being sad and depressed but the victim isn't.
well well well, this isn't the right time to focus on my fucked up feelings or how to make things work when it won't.
the national exams is just 16 days away. and i'm still not prepared for it.
i want to stop myself from thinking but the more i try, the more i think about it.

still hoping for the impossible, x