i screwed up today's 'O' Maths Prelims. i've never failed to screw anything up since she has left me. so its kind of normal. feeling really disappointed. my maths teacher went through the Prelim paper just now, at the end of the day. totally flunked the paper. ahhhhhhh!!! i'm such a disappointment...
it is like, i am alive but i am dead. what is wrong with me?! it has been like two weeks already and i'm still not getting over it. this is affecting me so much. cannot concentrate in anything i do. mind-blocked. fuck i feel like dying now.
forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget forget
but why is it so hard to let go, to forget? am i not trying hard enough to forget about it? s u i c i des
focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus focus