I
If she ever sees this. To Beverley.
The things that I wanted to tell her today.
It was never easy for me, to forget you. It was never easy for me to forget, delete every single thing about us. But still, I managed to 'forget you' after you've left. Until a few days back when you returned and told me to delete everything away. When I saw that message, I rubbed my eyes. I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. How is it even possible that she's talking to me?! I read the message and I was enraged. I don't know why, but yes, I was really enraged about it. After so long, you came back and tell me to " hey, .... delete everything away. " Yes, I lied. I lied, again. I lied to you that I've deleted everything about us since a long long time ago. That's a reply you expected, isn't it? Well, the truth is. I haven't delete everything about us. I haven't delete all the pictures we have shared. I haven't delete your number. You see, what's the point of deleting these away, when the MAIN POINT is to delete the feelings and everything away? Do you know, even if you delete the messages and etc, it doesn't mean that you'll be able to forget the person. Deleting those things away, it just basically mean that you won't be able to see them ever again. Half of your phone's memory is cleared. To be honest, I don't even think I'll delete your number or all the conversations we had. What for? Yessssssssss, I want to be at least, friends with you. Like totally. But. I've ruined it up. You won't be able to trust me anyway~ I haven't been into Audition yesterday or on Friday. But let me guess, you've already broke off the marriage. I'M ANGRY ABOUT THIS. Most importantly, I'm sad about this. It's hard to find a person whom you can connect so well with. Even though it's just an " online thing ", you'll have feelings with this. It's like you've been hugging this bolster since you're a baby and someone's throwing it away. This is how I feel. I want to know if this is how you feel too. But I don't think so. Because of my lies and stupid stuffs.
The reason why I don't even have the courage to enter Audition is because I'm worried that you've really broke it off. That all these has ended, even though I knew all these has ended since a month ago.
The things that I wanted to tell her today.
It was never easy for me, to forget you. It was never easy for me to forget, delete every single thing about us. But still, I managed to 'forget you' after you've left. Until a few days back when you returned and told me to delete everything away. When I saw that message, I rubbed my eyes. I thought that my eyes were playing tricks on me. How is it even possible that she's talking to me?! I read the message and I was enraged. I don't know why, but yes, I was really enraged about it. After so long, you came back and tell me to " hey, .... delete everything away. " Yes, I lied. I lied, again. I lied to you that I've deleted everything about us since a long long time ago. That's a reply you expected, isn't it? Well, the truth is. I haven't delete everything about us. I haven't delete all the pictures we have shared. I haven't delete your number. You see, what's the point of deleting these away, when the MAIN POINT is to delete the feelings and everything away? Do you know, even if you delete the messages and etc, it doesn't mean that you'll be able to forget the person. Deleting those things away, it just basically mean that you won't be able to see them ever again. Half of your phone's memory is cleared. To be honest, I don't even think I'll delete your number or all the conversations we had. What for? Yessssssssss, I want to be at least, friends with you. Like totally. But. I've ruined it up. You won't be able to trust me anyway~ I haven't been into Audition yesterday or on Friday. But let me guess, you've already broke off the marriage. I'M ANGRY ABOUT THIS. Most importantly, I'm sad about this. It's hard to find a person whom you can connect so well with. Even though it's just an " online thing ", you'll have feelings with this. It's like you've been hugging this bolster since you're a baby and someone's throwing it away. This is how I feel. I want to know if this is how you feel too. But I don't think so. Because of my lies and stupid stuffs.
The reason why I don't even have the courage to enter Audition is because I'm worried that you've really broke it off. That all these has ended, even though I knew all these has ended since a month ago.
