if you ever see this
HEY EVERYBODY! It's Saturday today! Wowowow. What have I done the whole of today? To be honest, I feel like I did nothing today. Hahaha, I think I'm crazy to actually watch so many IU videos instead of doing Maths. Le sigh. Got to work doubly, triply harder tomorrow. I got to say this, IU is extremely cute and gorgeous. Hahahahaha! These two Korean variety shows : Heroes & Win Win ARE DAMN FUNNY. LOLLL. Okay, let's come back to the " topic " of today. Actually, I wanted to blog about this a few days back but I hesitated. So, I'll blog about it today.
Message to Beverley:
Wow. It has been months since we've talked to each other, isn't it? I've got to admit, I LOVE sleeping. But I hate going to sleep. When you just lie on the bed with pillows around you, and you just stare at the ceiling. Thoughts run through your mind. For me, I was thinking: How's Beverley doing? How's she coping with her family issues, art stuffs and etc etc? How's her preparation for her art exam which is coming real soon? These are the thoughts I have, every single night. And that's the reason why I hate going to sleep. You are forced to think about stuffs that you've been avoiding/too busy to think about.
Two days back, I dreamt of you. Yup, Beverley, its you. I dreamt that you sent me a text saying: " Mom just left me a box of ... outside the door. I don't know what is it. " The whole of that day, I was wondering if your mum have did something to you the night before or something. I mean, out of all the dreams that I can dream, I dreamt of this text. Isn't it weird? I really think that Beverley's mum has did something mean, really mean to Beverley that day. That's what I think. I'm assuming. But who knows the truth? Afterall, it's just a dream. Hope that everything's going fine for Beverley.
In a few weeks time, you're going to sit for your art exam, if I'm not wrong. You've worked really hard for the past two years. (I guess you worked hard too, when you were in Sec 3.) You've worked especially hard this year. Staying up soooooooooo late just to sketch finish. Sacrificed sooo much just for art. It's the time to 'showcase' your hard work. I'm sure that you're damn afraid/scared that you won't do well for your art or blah blah blah. Oh well, you're not alone. Everyone who's sitting for their exams are feeling exactly like how you're feeling now. You're definitely not alone. Don't be afraid. Don't be scared. Treat it like a normal test because if you keep having the thoughts " If I fail this, I'm gonna die. If I fail this, I'm gonna ...", you're going to panic. STAY POSITIVE. You're going to do well. All the best to you. (:
Lastly, I'm sorry for everything I did and everything that I didn't.
Hahaha. Don't you find me hilarious? I'm blogging about this like Beverley is going to read this. But anyway~ Hope she gets to see the message.
i tried. i really, did try. but what if trying isn't enough? fucked up medical reports.
what if in just a split second, i'll be dead?
how does it feel to be dead?
what if one day, i woke up and i realize that i'm dead?
